She cannot begin to express to you
how she truly feels, except
through her artistic rendering.
As a painter who places paint on
a canvas. As a photographer who
uses the lens of her camera to
capture the beauty of a single
moment. As a poet who writes from
her heart, ink like crimson, bleeding
onto the page. She paints her canvas,
utilizing her senses as brushstrokes.
She breathes in slowly the cologne
in the air. She looks all around,
focusing on the sparkling color of your
eyes, the placement of art on the
walls. She listens to the song playing
in the background, taking note of the
romantic lyrics. Her hands feel the
texture of your clothes, smoothness
of your skin. She tastes your sweet lips,
deep kisses, the salt on your body.
All of these things she does, creating a
photograph in time, etching the moment
eternally in her mind. She does these
things because beautiful moments
pass by so quickly with the possibility
of never coming around again.
But with memories so visceral, so vivid,
she has a way that nothing can
take from her to return to these times,
the emotions, rawness, vulnerability,
pain. All which makes us what we are,
better than robots, computers
technology. All that makes us human.
She cannot begin to express to you
I believe that artistic types of people show their true selves, deepest thoughts, strongest emotions and even pieces of their subconscious through their form of art. Writers share imaginative and wonderful stories, or release demons that torment them by putting words to a page. Painters project the beautiful scenes in their mind or around them, or the dark images that disturb them in their dreams, onto canvas using brushes covered in oils, pastels or watercolors.
As much as I hate to admit it, this realization came to me one evening this past April while watching an episode of the Bachelor. In that episode, there was this girl, a songwriter, fighting for the affections of this guy while competing with several other girls. When the bachelor asked her directly about her feelings for him, she came off almost kind of ditzy while trying to explain, which ultimately led her to not receiving a rose. What she was able to do, prior to leaving the show, was write a song that was much more expressive of how she felt.
I could relate to her in the sense that I have found myself in many situations where I just cannot get the right words out to explain how I feel. Especially if the feeling is extremely strong. But what I can do is express myself in my writing, particularly through my poetry. I have notebooks and scraps of paper galore with examples of these kind of emotional poetic expressions covering a range of subjects. For this post, I will go back to poems I have shared previously.
The happiest one was written shortly before my fiancé told me he loved me. My first reaction when he did was to giggle. Of course, I said I love you too once the initial jubilation had calmed down. But I could not directly say how much I had wanted to hear those words from him. Instead, I shared with him a poem I had written about how I felt, Candlelight. That, along with a song that was perfect for the situation, expressed everything I could not find the words to say.
The second example was a piece I wrote about my grandmother. She is currently residing in a nursing home. When people ask me how she is, or how I feel in regards to her condition, I usually cannot express the depth of it. The sorrow of watching someone you love suffer, and know there is nothing you can do to help. Finally, I was able to write this, Slow Mourning. It helped unburden the sadness that had been building up inside me over the past year while watching her health slowly and painfully decline.
So here are my suggestions to you. If you know someone who writes songs or poetry, or paints, take the time to let them share their art with you. Chances are, you will learn so much more about them than they will every be able to say. If you are the artist, it does not matter how perfect your artwork is. When you find yourself in a place that you cannot say what you feel, try expressing it artistically, and then share it with the person you want to tell. This may open the door to much deeper, understanding relationships.